Happy Birthday to the woman who gave me life

Hehehe thanks for that Mom ; )

Happy Birthday to the greatest Mom in the world - the support, encouragement, and love you've shown me throughout the years has kept me going. Seriously, I couldn't do it without you. You've always pushed me to be ambitious and live life vigorously, while also being their to lend an understanding ear and a shoulder to lean on (and in my 20's - to cry on. a lot. jeeezuss). You've always encouraged me to do the best thing for myself and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that and appreciate you.

I love you Mom!

sister, mom, me

My cute Mom

Sassayyyyyy!!

"Summer in SF"

It is depressing and it's making me sick. Literally I cannot stay healthy for longer than a couple months! I blame Muni, the grossly excessive overuse of air conditioning in most buildings, AND the fact that it's freaking windy and cold all the time.

BUT, due to my illness, today I got to do something cool - work from home! (or WFH as the cool kids call it). I had a very productive day, just like being in the office, except I was in pajamas and close to my kitchen, all day long : )

It's exciting that working remotely is increasingly more common and even encouraged in some cases. I think that that is exciting. Because truth be told, I may have been a little worried that I would get too distracted working at home, but I wasn't. I had stuff to do, calls to make, etc, etc, and it filled my day exactly as if I had been in an office. But the beauty is that for some people the standard hours of 9:00-5:00 are just not possible for their lifestyle. If you have kids, another job, things that must get done during the day, whatever, you can do it because the hours are flexible when you work from home. As long as you don't abuse the special privileges and continue to work hard, everyone will be happy and everyone wins.

I like that work is evolving into a more accommodating and less rigid structure. Some people don't like to  be sucked into a monotonous routine, and the ability to work remotely allows us the freedom to be a little more inventive with our time. Sounds good to me! What do you think?

Video: Stewie welcoming me home!!

But first, a little rant followed by an uplifting "pat on the back / keep your chin up" sort of thing...(insert winky face and cheeky grin here)

Today was tough, not gonna lie. It's interesting....I feel like it's hard to be passionate and truly involved in your work unless you really get to know your organization, but this doesn't happen over night. There are road blocks up right now and I just want to take a sledge hammer and tear them down; instead I have to be satisfied with slowly chipping away - eventually I will break through but it will take time.

I'm frustrated because I'm not picking things up as quickly as I'd like to at work. Computer language is difficult for me. I have a hard time filling in the blanks - I need to know all of the background information, I need to fill in all the gaps and understand "why." Some people just get it, they speak the language and it comes naturally. We all have our strengths. I know I'll get there, I'm confident in that, but for now I can't be afraid to make mistakes and ask questions - it's the best way for me to learn, honestly. 

I try not to get down on myself when I don't understand something right away; I know I'm trying my best and that's all I can do, but it's hard not to feel critical sometimes. And I know I can be way too hard on myself.....and for what!?? At the end of the day, what really matters is that I tried my best; and what really really matters is that I'm happy and living each day with joy. Besides how can I be unhappy when I think about this little bundle of joy....

I went home for 10 days this month. I am so blessed to have such a loving and seriously awesome family. Some of my best friends were also in town making my time at home truly feel like the good 'ol days. And of course, my puppy! 

This video is the greeting I received when I came home and saw Stewie for the first time in 2 1/2 months. Now this is a homecoming done right! (Sorry about the lame edits - it ran a little long...and I'll try to get a better quality video up later -- read "i don't know what i'm doing")

Blogger's block...

Blogger's block....much like writer's block. I feel less than inspired these days to continue writing the way I have been - I'm feeling like my style/content/overall feel needs to be reinvented. I'm thinking about switching to wordpress, but am not quite there yet. Regardless of whether one person is reading my blog or 100, I like to write and will definitely continue. I just need a little direction, I think. 

Hoping for a good week; just got back from a beautiful weekend in Yosemite where I went on a 13.5 mile hike and camped with my awesome fam. It's always hard when times like that come to an end - in fact, I really struggle with trying not to feel so sad and depressed when transitioning from great times with friends and family to facing a difficult work week (or the like) - I need to learn how to let the good times fuel and energize me rather than bring me down (because ultimately, I would just like to be on vacation with my family and friends for the rest of my life....can I get paid to do that?? Obviously I can not). 

Happy birthday to my gorgeous, awesome, and freakishly adorable cousin! You are amazing and I loved spending the weekend with you. Looking forward to an interesting week ahead....good luck facing the monday blues everyone!

Juggling jobs!

Quickly, I want to say that this girl (me) has been juggling 3...no 4 jobs and hasn't had a day off in....I don't even remember the last time I had a day off! I know this is rather uncharacteristic of me - I happen to believe in days off, relaxing, and recreational fun time - but it seems, finally, that my hard work is paying off.

My job as a server is no more (thank god almighty I hated that job!), and I actually turned down an offer with my current internship to transition into a permanent role, which was an extremely difficult decision to make as I really like the company and people I work for. So why the hell did I turn it down? Well, I landed a second internship with a company I am over-the-moon happy to be working for. The company is Viator.com! Viator is Latin for "travel" and so, obviously it's a perfect fit! I'm a marketing intern and learning so much already about social media strategy, online marketing, and am even getting to do a bit of writing. I'm so happy with this position it's ridiculous. It hasn't been an easy road to get here though, and I am thanking the Universe for delivering something that really excites me. Thank you!

So now I am working full-time between the two internships; nights and weekends belong to me again....so grateful for the opportunites that are coming my way. I finally feel like I believe in myself again - I mean, I must have been doing something right to get to this place!

mmmmKAY I'm back!

Cousin Ian frolicking in Portugal "yipee!"

First things first, I really hate posts without pictures, but my busy butt didn't have time to take any so today's totally irrelevant picture is there simply because it makes me happy. But while I'm on the subject, I'm going to make it a goal to start carrying around my camera and get "picture happy." I feel like I don't take photos anymore - SO not good - from here on out I'll be that annoying person who always wants to pause for group photos....



I just got the call asking if I would like the day off?.....yes please, yes paaleeeeeeeeeze! I could always use the extra money, but after working a few 12 hour days, the blisters on my feet and dark circles around my eyes won fair and square. What's with the 12 hour days you ask!??? Seems unlikely "Liza behavior" you say.....well, not this Summer - it's going to be bi-zay!

Things at the restaurant are good - I really like some of the people I work with, major plus! The managers are great, however, I am a bit frustrated about the way we do "service;" it could be so much more efficient - servers could be walking out with more money - guests would be happier and more satisfied with the overall experience, and I think everyone could potentially make more money, SERIOUSLY. I've worked in a lot of different restaurants and definitely have a feel for achieving ways to maximize the efficiency of "flow" and increase customer and employee satisfaction. I could say a lot more on this, but I know it's super boring to anyone but me, so there, I'm done.

This girl finally landed a marketing internship! It's at a really awesome IT company (Information Technology) that is all about helping organizations to increase and enhance their capacity to do good. We work primarily with non-profits, schools, and organizations striving for a "greener" approach. I really like the people I'm working with and think that it will give me some great experience to get involved and increase my knowledge / understanding of marketing. I've done a bit of freelance as well, hence the 12 hour days, but it's all good because I'm meeting great people and could use a bit of organized chaos in my life.

I've also been reconnecting with some old friends from Sonoma - I can't even express how happy this makes me. I met some seriously incredible people during those early college years. It does my heart so much good to reconnect.

Oh, I completely forgot to update you all on the CLEANSE. Well, I went for three days strong and it actually was easier than I thought it would be. On the third day however, I worked at the restaurant and felt totally sluggish and a little faint...to follow would be 6 more days of work, so I just couldn't do it without a little nutrition. But I really didn't get headaches surprisingly, and I think the fatigue would have gone away by day 6 or 7, and be replaced with an abundance of energy (apparently this is the effect....). I will definitely be trying this again when I don't have to be running around a restaurant, carrying heavy plates, and having cheery interactions with guests. I have also been sick on and off three times in the last month, so haven't been doing much running unfortunately...back at it tomorrow!

Last but not least, I saw The Hangover 2 last night and actually, I think I liked it better than the first one! The sequel focuses even more on Ed Helms (Andy from The Office), and he is super laugh-out-loud / make-everyone-stare FUNNY in this sequel. Loved it.

That's all for now, much more in the way of pictures and fun posts to come!

CLEANSE

So, I have started a cleanse. I'm not sure if it will be a good thing or a bad thing. Which cleanse you ask? Well, it's a tweaked version of the Mastercleanse...ya know, that psychotic lemonade thing only crazy people do; yeah, that one. Why oh why you ask??? Well it is summer, and I've been feeling a bit tired and low lately, so I felt like a cleanse might just help.

My tweaked version allows me to also have miso soup with homemade vegetable broth. I also may allow myself the occasional fruit smoothie, because headaches are no bueno for me.

Today is actually day 2. Yesterday I woke up with no appetite whatsoever (stress I think) and thought, might as well start today! Day 1 came and went without any problems. Today however I had an emotional meltdown that fell on the wrong people (I'm sorry). I know going without real solid food can cause one to become a bit grumpy, but if that continues I will have to call the cleanse off. Nobody wants a grumpy Liza!!

I've also just been stressed lately. I had a conversation with one of my best friends, and we talked about how we felt as if we hadn't been truly truly happy and content for quite a few years. Not that I haven't had extended times with a glowing and gleeful disposition, I have, but overall the 20's are rough.

Anyhoo, am I hoping to do the cleanse and come out a changed person? Yes! Will that happen? Probably not, but hopefully it will extract some good energies and sense of rejuvenation. Huzaaaawwhhh!! hehe : )

Let's hope I make it to day 3....my roommate's making paella tonight, and it's been a rough day...can she resist??? I'll let you know how it goes! Anyone else doing a summer cleanse??

Dance a little more...

In the middle surrounded by gorgeous dancers

Dance...

Dance......

Dance!!!

Why don't we all do this? Is it because we forget? We forget how good it feels? How happy and free it makes us feel?

Sometimes I think I should reserve a half hour AT LEAST out of every day to just dance in my living room or kitchen (seems to be my preferred places of dance in my house). But then again it's so....good when it's spontaneous - when you suddenly feel your heels instinctively taking to the beat, creeping up your legs, into your hips, up your torso, flowing out your arms and suddenly your swinging your head, hair flying from side to side! Eeeeeyahhh!

I need to do this more often! Seriously, how fun is it to shed your inhibitions and dance. Be silly, be sassy, be sexy, be crazy, be happy, just dance! If you can't shake it in front of other people, it doesn't matter just fit it in somehow. Feel the music and move. If anything it's an element you can add to your day to relieve stress and remind yourself what it's all about. I get so caught up in "seriousness" sometimes I forget that this is my life, and I only get one chance to live it.

It's so important to remember to have fun! Man sometimes "fun" seems like a chore; how horrible is that sentence! But we just get caught up and start to feel like we don't have time for fun - "Oops, sorry, can't fit in fun because I'm too busy being serious serious serious!"

I'm not saying that life is a circus - that we should throw our responsibilities out the window - I just want to encourage everyone to remember that fun and happiness should be equally if not the biggest priority. Try to squeeze it in. Make this a goal: be able to look back on your life and feel like you took care of your loved ones AND yourself; you lived it to the fullest; you pushed the boundaries and sought joy in absolutely everything you did. 

Remember to dance and see how happy it makes you!

You're hired!

Yesterday I heard two words that hadn't graced my ears for quite some time; "Your hired!" I can't say I landed the job of a lifetime, nothing even close to resembling anything of that nature....that's right, it's back to the restaurant business for me! But don't worry I'm not giving up on my goals. I just realized that while freelance and internships are awesome and definitely my top priority, I need to be able to rely on a steady paycheck in order to survive up here.

Serving is a great way to make the most amount of money in the least amount of hours. So time to dig out my all black ensemble and get ready to plaster on that smile and bouncy energetic persona that all good servers must possess (if they want to make the money that is). I happen to really enjoy working in a restaurant and will absolutely embrace the opportunity to make some new friends and of course, not have to worry about paying rent.

So how did I get the job? In the last couple weeks I have been rather unlucky: from getting my car towed, to little things like leaving 24 rolls of toilet paper in the Target parking lot, accidentally driving over the Bay Bridge during rush hour traffic on a friday and having to pay the toll with my quarters for laundry, and other odd things here and there causing me to utter aloud "how unlucky..." The more I hear myself saying these words, the more I realize I've been a bit down on my luck. Well yesterday luck was finally on my side!

The restaurant I  wanted to apply to was having open interviews for three days this week. So I showed up only for them to meet me briefly and tell me to fill out an application, but they weren't holding any more interviews because they were a bit behind. I looked around and realized that I was one of many hopefuls, which of course was discouraging. I brought back the application an hour later and the hostess said, "Oh, you're from Ventura? I'm from Ventura!" A few seconds later the General Manager came up to us and snatched my application from her hands, then asked if I had time to chat. 20 minutes later and I had the job! They weren't even going to begin considering candidates until a couple days later! I was astonished to say the least.

So now I have a job, and the best part is that I was honest - I'm not going to sacrifice my career aspirations for a server position (not that there's anything wrong with that AT ALL, I have so much respect for servers, but I have other dreams). I made it clear that I was looking to work 3-4 days and wanted this job to supplement my income. So yeayahh!! Show me the tips! Now I'll be able to afford to start dancing again and doing fun things in the city, yay : ) Luck has a funny way of showing itself when you least expect it....

The "Waiting" Game

This is an old picture of me "waiting"....that's all....yeah.

Recently I realized that I really hate to wait. Sound like the intro to an extremely boring post? Possibly, yes; but hopefully not - I do have a point.

I've been in SF now for just under 3 months. In this time I've gone to Bartending school, started freelancing at an awesome creative marketing firm, moved into an apartment, stepped up my exercise regime with Bikram Yoga and running, interviewed for and turned down a job, allowed my blog to take shape and become something I am proud of, and now possibly landed an internship!
Not too bad for three months time, hey??? hey????

When I step back and admire some of the strides I've made, I feel pretty good about where my ambition has lead me. But if I look back on the last three months and think about how I felt each day in terms of my success and how much my efforts were paying off, I would say, "ughhhhhhhhh, I feel like I've accomplished nothing!" Which so isn't true, but sometimes can feel this way. Why? Because there is so much waiting involved. Even if it's only for a day - that day can often feel like an eternity. What I've learned about myself is that I really hate to wait, and I think that's because I have ambition and WANT to be doing something that is pushing me forward in life. If opportunities are not immediately knocking, I feel anxious.

When I got rejected from grad school I felt extremely depressed not necessarily because I didn't get in, but because the thought of putting my mind towards another goal, in a totally different direction filled me with anguish and fear of failure. I thought about how long and difficult it was for me to come to the decision to go back to school, and now I had to find a new path. Why not just get any old job and do whatever gets me by? Well, my life is important, it is my mission to be both challenged and "in love" with whatever I do.

I dwelled on this for a while, but luckily I began freelancing quite often, and loved the industry I was becoming more familiar with. So I almost immediately had something to fill my time instead of worrying about 'where I'm going and what I want to do with my life.' But then again, it's freelance so obviously not working on a permanent basis means time to dwell.....eventually.

Earlier this week I did what I normally do, try to fill the void with something immediate, anything. So I looked up babysitting because I have tons of experience, but for many reasons have long wanted to move away from that niche and pursue my passions and career. But out of slight desperation to earn money, and mostly the need to DO SOMETHING NOW, I lined up a job.

Then I had a realization. I didn't come to SF to simply "get by" and I certainly didn't come here to babysit. So I canceled the job because I believe in myself and I have hope that if I keep trying, keep following my heart and pursuing my goals, I will be successful, AND happy.

So that being done, I put a ton of effort into working on applications for internships and am super excited because I actually got an interview! I'm thrilled with the company, and hopeful for the opportunity to immerse myself in the industry. Oh by the way, I would be a Marketing Intern. Yay!

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, things don't always happen right away, in fact they almost NEVER do, but give yourself the allowance to wait, and never stop trying. Don't give up on your goals. If for some reason your goals change along the way, which can be very hard and difficult to deal with emotionally and mentally, you just have to roll with it. It will be okay as long as you believe in yourself and continue to find ways to improve your capabilities. If you want something, no one is going to hand it to you. You have to go and get it, and in this pursuit, be someone or strive to be someone that you can be proud of. It comes from within.

This may sound contradicting, but I believe you should pursue your goals and never give up on finding success and happiness, however allow yourself time to wait and have patience because if you try your very best things have a way of coming full circle and working out eventually. Sometimes things, ideas, goals, dreams, ambitions, whatever, just need to sit for a while and brew. Try not to get desperate and give up just because it's "easier" in the moment.

Are risks worth the risk?

Yes, worth it, way worth it! It's good knowing when to play it safe, but our intuition is a driving force for clarity; why ignore that (sometimes pesky) inner voice?

I recently made a rather risky decision - depending on how you look at it - but I got some great advice, followed my intuition, and I don't think I'll regret a thing.

I'm so thrilled to be where I am right now. I'm loving the whirlwind that has engulfed my life. It's crazy to think that just a year ago I was globe-trotting -- wandering around aimlessly to my heart's content. I love traveling and am always looking forward to the next adventure, but for right now, I'm ready to get a little settled. Not settled in the 'lets get married, have kids, move to a suburb and grow a garden' kind of way, but in the sense that I'm ready to be grounded and in one place for a while.

I love where I am right now. I've been wanting to move to SF for SO LONG, and I'm finally here! I love meeting new people and am having a blast as a freelancer working for a fabulous company.

How did I finally get here? How was I able to make the move rather than just talk about making the move? Well you asked, so I'll be honest. Ultimately I came to SF knowing I wanted to live here, but my application to grad school at SFSU is what actually got me here. I came with the presumption that I would undoubtedly be accepted. I even began Bartending School because I thought it would be the best job to have as a grad-student. As fate would have it, I did NOT get in (bitches....jk!). Actually, I'm happy I didn't get in; no really, I am! Because if I had been accepted, I would have probably wound up back in school. But the thing is, in my heart of hearts I knew what I truly wanted to do, and as fate would have it, I am doing it!

School is great, but it's round the clock....and so much work....for no pay! Not saying it's a bad thing, not at all - it's great for a lot of people, and I may find myself back at it one day, but for now I am right where I want to be. I am working for an awesome company, living in a fabulous apartment with some of my best friends (in SF no less), earning money, and having fun. No papers to stress about or tests to study for. I loved school, but I was ready to move on and I couldn't quite do that in Ventura. Here in SF I can, and I am. Yaay!

When we take risks, particularly the kind that are motivated by our gut instincts and heart, the positive will soon unravel, sometimes in unexpectedly exciting ways. Who knows if I would have ever made it to SF had I known that I would not get into grad school. It would have been a lot harder to justify coming all this way.

Sometimes in life it's better to go with the safe bet because security is important; other times risks are worth taking. There is something very exciting about being in the here and now with every move you make; I am a surfer riding the wave of life - sometimes I'll fall but I'll always get right back up and enjoy the ride.

TLC and a little perspective

2 Trees, Ventura

Awe to be home and in the tender loving care of your family. This weekend I decided to come home because, well let's face it - I'm a "Venturian," always have been and always will be - us "Venturians" can never seem to stay away for long. My lazy but vibrant little beach town, right off the 101, lies in between Santa Barbara and LA truly capturing the best of both worlds. Beach, mountains, and good energy pretty much sums up Ventura to me.

I'm loving San Francisco, but Ventura will always be home and fill me with the *warm fuzzies* every time I'm back. For now however, SF is where I want to be. It's certainly been a change of pace, but a welcomed one. I'm 25 and at a time in my life where I want to be caught up in the hustle and bustle of a big city. But I'm lucky because where I live allows access to all the best the city has to offer. I can see the Civic Center from my apartment, but am right across from Golden Gate Park and just a few blocks from the beach! Not to mention, there is a Trader Joes and Bevmo close by, and come on, who can live without such essentials!? 

Although it was scary to move away from home, good things have been happening, as I knew they would. I've been working for an energetic, cutting edge company allowing me to jump right in to the frenzy and feel like a contributing member of society. The work has been invigorating and challenging. I love getting home at the end of a full day and pouring myself a well deserved, tall glass of wine and truly "unwinding." This of course is not a new element to my life, we all know I am a lover of the vine, but I appreciate it even more after a "day at the office." My oh my, is this girl starting to sound grown up or what!?

All the things I've been hoping and envisioning my life to look like, are beginning to manifest, and I couldn't be more enthusiastic about the decisions I've made and the direction I'm going. I know there's no such thing as smooth sailing - there are sure to be many more bumps in the road - but I'm finally feeling more decisive and I think it's because I am listening to my heart and following my intuition. I'm allowing myself to see the bigger picture, thus taking some weight off of all the little things that so often don't matter at all, but are the things we stress endlessly about. Doing Bikram yoga has opened my eyes and is enabling me to put things into perspective. It's one of the healthiest things I've done for myself in a long time, and I don't plan to stop anytime soon.

I want to wrap up with a message my dad has taped to his dash, something he looks at every day when he is driving. It represents an idea I am learning more and more about and would encourage everyone to keep in mind as well.

"SEEK JOY."

The Interview....

In order to get a job, there is often one crucial thing you must do, and must do well -- the interview, DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUN *Insert deep dramatic sigh here.* It's not that I don't like speaking to a group of strangers about why I am so great, but ehhh, who am I kidding? I don't! Some people love the opportunity to talk on and on about all of their achievements. I am not one of those people. The whole process makes me tense. I consider myself a humble person. I like to give credit but sometimes have a hard time receiving it. I know that I'm too hard on myself, but I'm just not one of those people who thinks she's got it all figured out and is so super duper cool; the fact that I just said "super duper" probably proves my point. However, when walking into an interview, one must possess great confidence and not be afraid to boast about all aspects of one's "remarkable" self.

The duration of an interview is usually around 45-60 minutes, which is quite a long time to be talking about yourself, and specifically to be channeling your most "stressful," "significant," or "challenging" moments from past work experiences. I find this to be extremely difficult. I could spend hours the night before prepping for any possible question they throw at me, but where would the spontaneity be in that?! And furthermore, I wouldn't want them to judge me based on some pre-rehersed script that I've carefully planned out. I like to think that interviewers value the ability of the interviewee to answer their questions with honesty and spontaneity. That being said, I realize more and more how nervous I get when being interviewed. And I must say, no matter how many times you've done it before, it doesn't hurt to at least take some time to bring relevant memories to the forefront so you're not caught off guard.

I went to an interview yesterday, and fear that nerves got the better of me. It can be difficult to speak eloquently and have the right words flow, especially when you are nervous. It was rather comical actually, I found myself trying to "communicate" the idea that I was a good "communicator," but finding it nearly impossible to "communicate" this to them. In other words, the WORDS were not flowing gracefully AT ALL. Despicable. Juuuuuust despicable.

BUT, overall it was a good experience. The people who interviewed me were extremely nice and made me feel comfortable. I think I just need more practice and definitely to gain confidence. I know who I am; I know that I would be a great asset to any organization because I am reliable, hardworking, quick, intuitive, positive, and I get along with everyone. I truly enjoy building those work/friend relationships. I just have to figure out how to show others who I am in 45-60 minutes under nerve racking, high pressure conditions. Confidence, confidence, confidence!

A Hiccup In Your Happiness

True friends are few and far between. I am blessed for I have some of the truest friends a person could ask for. There are many elements in life that contribute to one's happiness but most important is our intimate relationships.




I am lucky to have the most loving and awesome family, but I find the "phenomenon" (as I see it) to connect with someone spontaneously, whom you have no familial relation with, to be quite amazing.

I have had these connections and they inspire me. The simultaneous exchange of characteristics between two people and the joint recognition that a bond has occurred, along with a significant account of like-ability, is truly remarkable. My friends have always been cherished by me. I feel that friendship, real friendship, allows one to open their world to the possibility of a new perspective.

We all have our own unique personalities and opinions, but our friendships enrich our outlook because they bring new elements to it, and I love that.

When we make a friend, a true friend, and decide to stick around, we are acknowledging that despite the fact that there are no family ties, we want/need the other in our life, we love spending time laughing, talking, singing, and simply being with our companion. It is a special relationship, one that I would never take advantage of. I am extremely grateful for each one of my friends. Without each of their marks on my life I would not be the person I am today. So friends, I am so grateful to you. Words cannot express how humble I am to know you, to love you, and to be loved by you.

This week has been both good and bad. GOOD because I took two Bikram yoga classes and went jogging in Golden Gate Park allowing me to release stress and feel cleansed, and accomplished; good because I freelanced this week (YAY!); good because I moved in to a super cute apartment with a great and loving friend; good because I attended a writing workshop = *awesome -- did I mention it is at my house? = *double awesome; good because I had the most amazing margarita I've ever had; good because I spent time with family. BAD, well, see previous post.....

Good friends are there for you and carry you through the tough times. One such friend saw what I previously wrote and showed me this very relevant song. Have a listen.

Thank you friend!

An Honest Reflection, And Confession

I am deeply grateful and humbled that you stopped by to check out my blog. I love to write, and strive to portray myself honestly in the hope that when we are able to reflect on ourselves - truly as we are, not how we wish to be - clarity, confidence, appreciation, and vitality will become more easily attainable. It is easy to be jealous and envious, but too much time is wasted on these emotions, and for what? We are who we are. When we can look at the success of others and feel genuinely happy for them, rather than secretly covet their delightful contentment (in all honesty, this is no easy feat), then we can freely embrace our own lives and live joyously, fully, and with gratitude for the life we were given -- OR at least we can move forward in this positive direction without inhibition. I will admit, I battle with this every day. It is my goal to arrive at this level of satisfaction where I can say, "HELL YEAH, I love myself, love my life; I am so grateful to be me!" 

Okay, I've said my piece....now here's one more! Please let me entice you to read on by stating that, I don't think I've ever said this to anyone (for fear that no one would believe me and instead just laugh); I am secretly a wanna-be fashion fanatic! I am secretly obsessed, and you would never know it by looking at me (sad).

Okay I know, who cares! If I want to secretly or not so secretly adore fashion, and shamelessly covet those who live/work in such a glamorous world (ooops! I forgot, no coveting....okay, working on it!), then so be it. But actually, it's not that I covet anyone or anything in this lovely world, I just truly enjoy it, and I feel great when, on the rare occasion, I get it right.

I am truly rambling, but please bare with me. I have two things to address while you enjoy my pretend "fashion forward moments and faux pas." Good or bad, this is me!

1. With so many incredibly trendy and "in-the-know" bloggers out there in regards to fashion, why should I even pretend that people will care about my 2 cents? But ya know something, fashion is one of the most popular and talked about topics in the world for a reason: it is everywhere, it is interpreted and conveyed in boundless ways, it is endlessly interesting and changing, it is highly individualistic, and it is incredibly expressive and a beautiful aspect of life that is always within view. It is a world that encompasses not only the clothing we wear, the makeup we apply, the accessories we adorn ourselves with, and the way we style our hair, but it is also apart of our homes, our food, the arts, lifestyle, our pets, mode of transportation, and on and on.

Fashion is everywhere, and that is why I think I am so intrigued. I love it because it is expressive and beautiful and always at our fingertips. So whether people care about what I have to say or not, it is a world for me to explore, and I enjoy it tremendously, so why wouldn't I write about it?! It's silly for me to try to compete, ridiculous actually because there is no competition - if someone wants to read the words of a fashion guru (I do!) they won't find it here. Instead you will find someone who doesn't know what the hell she is talking about, but is deeply interested in trying! Maybe that will inspire others to not be discouraged if they are not immediate trend-setters - only a lucky few truly are (good for them!).  Instead, like myself, I would encourage one to focus on exploring their own unique and fresh take on what fashion means to them! Yay!

2. I've done so much rambling that I've completely blanked on this one, hmmmmm, probably for the best at this point ; )

Bottom line, I like to feel great about how I look. If I am feeling iffy about an outfit, and decide later on in the day that I must have suffered from a mental lapse rendering me useless in the decision making process about the outfit in question, then, well, I'll have a bad day. That is the honest truth. And I will covet (there's that word again!) other's outfits and their mental capacity to make fabulously informed wardrobe decisions. *deep. long. sigh*

It's okay to make a "fashion faux pas" every now and then (if one never experiments, one will never know...eheh). And it's also okay to feel great about yourself. I said earlier, occasionally I will feel as if I "got it right," but really what I love is being able to express myself in clothing that makes me feel great as an individual, on the cusp of the latest trends or not (usually not). At the end of the day, you want to feel like you put forth the best representation of yourself, whatever that may be. Only requirement that matters is that you feel great about you.

A Moment For Japan

I'll admit, at times my mind wants to simply wander freely in lala land and pretend like everything is right in the world, after all, I am in no imminent danger here with my family in Oregon. But of course, in my heart of hearts I know that it isn't right to pretend. Everything is not okay in the world, far far from it. Gosh, it is just so sad. Aside from the terror that has engulfed Japan, terrible injustice is happening to peaceful protestors in Yemen and Libya. Perhaps inspired by the Egyptian people who had had enough, it seems that a domino-effect is taking place in regards to people rising up against oppressive conditions, and demanding democracy.

I almost feel guilty to have it so good. But instead of feeling guilty I need to make awareness an important part of my life - always be up to date, informed. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with everything going on, and to be honest, so much of what we hear is unbearably sad and often times we would rather be blissfully unaware. But this is wrong when you think about what people go through. If it was me in one of these desperate situations I would feel incredibly disgusted and heart-broken to know others who had it good were just too naive to care. I certainly don't want to be like that.

I strongly encourage you to check out nytimes.com if you haven't already. There are some incredible pictures that show you exactly what is going on -- the devastation inflicted on so many thousands of people. Please take a moment...

Tsunami aftermath in Japan

As if earthquake and tsunami weren't enough, now there is fear of a nuclear meltdown. So as the Japanese sift through the rubble that was once their homes and grieve over the loss of friends and family, they must also fear nuclear radiation. As a result the whole world is in fear of the radiation that is leaking from Japanese nuclear plants. It seems however that the radiation will dissipate before it actually reaches us here on the west coast, thereby strongly reducing the danger to us. Fear however is taking shape. There has been a surge in the demand for potassium iodide here in America, which is a drug that can protect people from radiation-induced thyroid cancer. Personally however, I believe the radiation will not reach us at such dangerous levels - I think all of these iodide tablets need to be a priority for Japanese and nearby countries who are at serious risk. I hope that they are receiving priority right now, not us.

This child....

Can't even imagine....

To be blissfully unaware is to live a life that is shallow and empty. Each day I realize this more and more. I am filled with gratitude, for life is a blessing and should never be taken for granted.

Beautiful Oregon

Oregon - heavy rain, freezing temperatures, lush lushy lushness, moss on the trees, and TREES! Goodness all the trees! Yes, I'm in Oregon with my family right now. We are here visiting my sister who goes to school in Eugene. I tell ya, for a California girl, Oregon is truly different and involves a whole other kind of beauty. I don't think I could ever settle down so far from the ocean, but for a change of scenery this place really does the trick. Sometimes the heart yearns for peace and serenity - a true change of pace from the busyness that consumes most of our lives.

Blogging : )

Being here is a simple reminder of how absolutely crucial it is to be able to "take a breather" and do something just for you. In a stressful situation when you feel like you're going to explode from the pressure of, I don't know.....whatever! - the best thing I have found is to simply remove myself from the situation temporarily. I'll take a moment to breath and remind myself that I will get through this - I'll think of something that makes me smile and allow this moment of happiness to penetrate....deep breath, then try again. When you have more time, get a massage, or mani/pedi, or even a delicious dirty chai (chai latte with espresso, my newest obsession - have no idea how I lived without this for so long), or buy yourself a cute new top or accessory, and definitely when you have time, take a vacay!


I like how the English say, "Let's go on holiday!" Because even though it may not technically be a holiday, for you it should be. We all deserve to indulge every now and then right!? I say, "that's right!" Can I get'a Amen!.....whooops, easy to get carried away.

But truly we can all afford to allow moments of hedonism to slip in occasionally, it's a matter of survival I say!

Anyone have their own fun ideas/tricks for evading the stressors that life sometimes throws at us?

Feeling Quite Professional and Grown Up!

Today felt good, very productive. A few weeks ago my biggest fear was venturing up to San Francisco and not being able to find any kind of work or promising projects to enrich my life and keep me busy. I like to be challenged - I find that I am at my best when taking on something I never could have imagined myself doing! A good friend told me today that I underestimate myself. That rang in my ears for a while, and I realized that he is right. If we actually succumbed to our fears all the time, where would we be!? Always within the confines of our "comfort zone," never to venture out for a, well, adventure!

I realized today that I can't take life so seriously. Sometimes we will fail, screw things up, trip and fall for all to see and laugh at (not really, but you see my point). What is really important is that we get up and move forward, keep moving forward and believe in ourselves. It's not the end of the world if something doesn't work out for us. You just have to dust yourself off (literally doing the motion helps), smile, and say "Oh well. What's next?"

That being said, great things are manifesting in my life. I don't want to say too much, but I have become someone's business partner and am assisting in all aspects of its organization and opening, and I've also managed to get some freelance work! Doing what? I'm not quite sure yet, but I will let you know! In addition to this, bartending school has been well worth my while - i'm obtaining a wealth of knowledge and having a great time doing it! So moral of the story is, keep your head up and believe in yourself! And if all of the aforementioned items fail, I will be sure to dust myself off and keep truckin along!

Strange thing to "wake up on the wrong side of the bed," isn't it?

"It's going to be one of those days"

Yesterday was just one of those days where you wake up feeling like you wish it was already over. It's a strange feeling to have after the previous day felt so exciting and joyous. But alas, this happens sometimes and we simply have to get through it. 

Yesterday when I woke up, I realized that I had managed to get out for a morning run 4 days out of the previous week, which for me is awesome. So it was strange waking up with a seriously strong aversion to the idea of getting up and venturing out for a healthy jog. I think I may have felt this way because, when we experience success we suddenly fear that we will lose it and fail. Since we have proven to ourselves that we can accomplish something, the pressure to continue suddenly feels immense and like a burden. I know they say that life is hard, but I can't for the life of me figure out why we put this pressure on ourselves. On the one hand maybe we do it as a way to overcome obstacles out there in the world; the world won't throw us any slack, so why treat ourselves any different? As humans we have a natural inclination to rise up in the face of challenges, meet the demands of society and our busy lives, and embody the best version of ourselves as often as we can manage. So in this sense, we need to put pressure on ourselves so as never to slip up - always on our toes, skipping, smiling, and throwing punches along the way - it's exhausting. But perhaps it is necessary to "survive" out there.

I don't know. What I do know is that when we are feeling doubtful, unsure, inferior, and generally blue all over there's one thing that can turn the day around, it's going to sound cheesy, but for me that thing is love. It's my family and my friends that I know will love me no matter how many times I fail. If I don't exercise for one day or fail to land a job, they won't love me any less. At the end of your life, this is what matters - the love you felt for your family and friends and the love they gave you in return. Most of us naturally want to succeed, so that daily motivation that at times can be hard to find, will continue to come each and every day; we don't have to worry about that. The relationships that make us who we are and fill us with so much appreciation for life is what matters the most. It is what will help us to get through each day with a sincere smile and sense of gratitude, because there is nothing fake about the love we feel for our family and good friends - they are enough to get us through.

New And Unexpected Things Can Often Surprise Us

Today was really a great day. I tried something that I never would have imagined myself doing, ever! Not that there's anything wrong with it, but well here it is, Bartending School! I know..."What!?!" So random and yet oddly appropriate for where I'm at right now. I have applied to Grad school, but that won't start until the Fall (if I get in), and I have sent out what feels like hundreds upon hundreds of resumes only to be left sadly waiting by the phone praying to get a nibble, an interview, or any acknowledgement whatsoever for that matter.

Because most of my experience lies in the restaurant industry (and non-profit sector as well), and assuming I will get into school, in which case I could not possibly work full-time, I will honestly make the most money and have a more flexible schedule working at a restaurant/bar than an office of sorts. Well I have done my research and the San Francisco School of Bartending is a legitimate, organized, and well-run school. I even got to attend the first class for free today, and I had a great time. The environment was not intimidating in the least, work-spaces were extremely clean, teachers were knowledgable and professional - yes, I am a happy camper!

If you want to work in restaurants, especially if you are in a big city such as SF, it is absolutely essential that your beverage knowledge and know-how is up to par. My previous experiences as a server were great, but I always felt extremely lacking when it came to alcohol and drink knowledge, which really holds you back. This school also does employment workshops, job-placement assistance upon graduation, and you have the opportunity to work behind a real bar before you graduate. AND they teach essential register knowledge that is a must in this industry (POS). All of my fellow aspiring drink-makers were as friendly and nice as can be.

Truly, I never thought about bartending school before. I jumped into this on a whim and am completely stoked to be apart of it. I'm looking forward to class tomorrow! Oh, and I also managed to get in a good jog before class, so no excuses to slack off on exercising this week. It feels so good to get out there in the morning and I encourage everyone to find a way to integrate exercise into your everyday life. It is especially good to do in the mornings otherwise, ehh, as it gets later and later we just don't feel like doing it anymore, which is understandable after a long day. So get out there early and you won't regret it!